Reflections on Turning 30

So many people have been telling me that this birthday is one of the “big ones”… I’m turning 30! Really though, I’ve never been one who’s worried about my age or has really put too much emphasis on my birthday. I really don’t remember my birthdays being very significant when I was a kid. They were family get togethers with one or two presents and a small cake. My 21st birthday was pretty uneventful in the grand scheme of things. It was spent, like most nights in Athens that year, with my best friend at the time Bianca... Going from bar to bar. My next few birthdays were spent with friends at pretty low key house parties. My last few birthdays have been spent working all day and getting together with my sisters and sometimes my parents to have dinner. While I have cherished all of them, I’ve never thought of them as life changing.


As this birthday has approached, I have been reflecting a lot... But I don’t think it really has too much to do with me turning 30… It’s how much has changed in my life over the year. Last year at this time, I was at my older sisters house about to blow out my candles… I never wish for anything specific usually, more like world peace or for a really good year… but last year was different. At the last minute, the wish “I want to meet my husband” flashed into my head. It actually surprised me. It was not preconceived. I had not been thinking of marriage at all. In fact I loved being single and was quite content with the whole thing. I was actually shocked by the thought and the fact I actually wished it! I shrugged it off after a few minutes as some weird glitch in the matrix. One week and just a few hours later, I was running the music at Spring Revfest when I caught the eye of this really cute guy in the crowd. Now a year later, am spend my birthday with that guy… and about 500 other music and art lovers as we run the music for this year’s Spring RevFest together. We’re also getting married in September.

In my first 30 years of life, I look back and am amazed at what I’ve accomplished. While I sometimes still think of things in my past and wonder how exactly I’ve been lucky enough to still be here, I wouldn’t take back anything.

Kerry

Spring Rev Fest!! Saturday, April 9 - 10am to 10pm

Spring RevFest is this weekend!

Please come on by!

Date: Saturday, April 9, 2011

Time: 10am to 10pm

Address: 1680-B Spring Road Smyrna, GA 30080.

We will have the following local artists performing:


9am - Sound check and set up: Darrell Leven
10am - Clusters of Grey
11am - Brett Schieber
12pm - In-Town Band
1pm - Wesley Cook
2pm - Jonathan Pharis
3pm - Loren Mulville
4pm - He Sang She Sang
5pm - The Phillips Brothers
6pm - The Romans
7pm - Dialect Trio
8pm - Nanyana
9pm - Insidious Interference

We also have several vendors coming out, so please stop by to see all the amazing local artists and their wares!

I look forward to seeing everyone!

Kerry

Dad's Guide for Selecting Drinks

A while ago... I'm actually talking about around my 21st birthday, so more than just a while ago now... I asked my Dad to write up a good wine guide for me. I have kept this piece of paper in my kitchen since and have relied on it for my basic wine selections. I'm here to share it with you today. :)


Wine Basics:

• General Red: Cabernet Sauvignon
• White Special: Pouilly-Fuissé
• Dryer Red: Beaujolais
• Common Rose: Mateus Rose
• Italian Champagne: Asti Spumante

For Food/Other:

• Port, Sherry (dry-sack), Brandy, and Cognac (VVSOP) are good for appetizer or dessert. They are fortified with high alcohol content
• German wines are also good for appetizers or dessert because they are usually fruitier
• Poultry, Lamb, and fish: White (go with a sweeter white with Lamb)
• Beef, Liver, Venison: Red
• Pork: Rose
• Chinese: Saki or Rice Wine heated, or Plum Wine or Japanese beer chilled
• Black Bread and Cheese or Bean dishes: /russian Vodka and spring water on the side
• BBQ: Jack Daniels or Marker Mark
• Cajan or hot dishes: Vodka or Rum, suggest Screwdrivers or White Russians
• Mexican: Jose Cuervo Gold, suggest shots with lime and salt or mixed for margaritas, or Mexican Beer
• Cigars: 25 year Ambassador scotch whiskey, Cognac VVSOP, or Brandy

In general:

• Buy California wine with corked bottles.
• Always sub Asti Spumante for any champagne.
• French and German wines are never very predictable and tend to cost more.
• Older Brandy, Scotch, Whiskey, and Bourbon are for sipping.
• Young, hard liquor is best for mixers (Green Label Jack, Johnnie Walker Red and Canadian Whiskey/Bourbon)

Lots of Shows, Lots of Things to Do!

So here we are ladies and gentlemen…  Lots of things have been happening!  Lots of wedding related things for Darrell and myself, but also a lot of music stuff too!! The Phillips Brothers are very close now to coming out with their very first demo.  When this happens, free copies will be available!  I’ve also been busy with helping plan the upcoming Spring RevFest 2011.  We have all of our bands booked!!  Come on out on April 9^th to find some really cool art and listen to some great music! 

Wedding-wise...  The church has been book, the dress ordered…  We both have a good idea about the rest of it and it’s really just all falling into place!   

I just wanted to do a quick post for my next 3 upcoming shows…

Minutes to Live

Land of 100 Hills Coffee

February 18^th @8pm

352 South Atlanta Street
Roswell, GA 30075
(770) 645-1149

The Phillips Brothers

Rev Coffee

February 19^th @7pm

1680-B Spring Road
Smyrna, GA 30080-6108
(770) 573-4434

Minutes to Live

Southeastern Flower Show

February 27^th time TBD

Cobb Galleria Centre
Two Galleria Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia 30339

The Phillps Brothers Music featuring Kerry Wentworth

"Eye Of The Wolf Productions" & "Rev Coffee" Present an evening featuring the music of The Dale Capri Quartet (8-9pm)and The Phillips Bros (9-10pm)@ Rev Coffee Friday Dec. 10th. Dale Capri Quartet is made up of Dale Capri on guitar/vocals, Hana Stepanek on Violin/Guitar/Vocals, Ira Kugler on Guitar and Tim Morris on Percussion. The Phillips Bros are a six piece band featuring the songwriting of Mikey Phillips and Kerry Wentworth. No Cover. Come try some of Rev's home roasted coffees, and one of their many homemade sandwiches or desserts! Look forward to seein' ya'll Friday!

Thoughts on Bullying - It Gets Better

I’M NOT EVEN SURE HOW OLD WE WERE…  For those who grew up in Jasper and attended Jasper Elementary (Go Tigers!) in the 80’s, my reasoning behind placing it around 2^nd grade is based purely on my remembering that it happened on the “Big Playground”.  My 1^st, 3^rd, and 4^th grade years were all spent on the “new playground” and the closed street that ran between the school and the (then) county library.  I know I wasn’t in 5^th grade, because other amazingly wonderful “kids will be kids” things happened that year. 

The boys name was Allen McCharge.  His name will forever be engrained into my head because of the few months he endured at our school, which must have been horrific, taught me a lesson that I still use today.  I do remember that he wasn’t the nicest of kids, but it was probably because he had already been the butt of several jokes and bullying for much of his life up to that point.  Even at that age, you can see the jading of society on kids who are “different” through their own attitudes and actions.   I myself was struggling for being slightly “different”, even at that age, and trying to fit in.  Allen was a lost cause the first day he came into the class room.  He was larger than everyone, in height and girth, he had super curly red hair, and it was topped off with a pair of “coke bottle” glasses.  He was also  pretty far behind everyone school wise.  I look back and wonder if he was learning disabled or just a late bloomer. 

 Something I always find interesting is how people, in general, who are lower on society’s totem pole tend to fight amongst themselves more than they fight the injustices of them being down there in the first place.  It’s like they are trying to climb said pole by climbing over people, doing and saying things uncharacteristic to their personality for people who probably are unimpressed with anyone who they deem “under” them.  It’s the common age old thought process of caring about what people think of you.  If you can make someone else look bad, then, comparatively, you look better, right?  As children, we do this instinctively.  We see it in nature as well.  My point is that it’s not society or the TV that train children to act this way when they are young, it’s nature.  The main difference between animals and ourselves is that we get to a point in our growth where we grow a conscience.  What we do with that conscience is what make the true difference.  As a child, you know the clear right and wrongs, I feel, by natural instinct, but it’s the grey areas that kids find the hardest to understand.  That is until the light finally comes on.  When we decide for ourselves that it’s not OK to hit the kid next to you just because you feel like it.  Self control?  A conscience?  Whatever it may be, I know the exact moment mine came.  Not to say I didn’t have slip ups later in life (sorry Jen, for the last part of 5^th grade!  I love you and am so glad we grew up!), but I know that from this particular point in my life onward, I knew I wasn’t the only person in the world that mattered.  I started watching what I said and did.  I went through a section in life where I probably watched myself a little too closely because I cared a little too much about what other people thought, but I also tried my best to watch those around me who were in the same predicament.

So the totem pole…  Let’s just say I was down near the bottom when I was younger.  I too had red hair.  My mom was a teacher, so obviously I was a tattletale.  I really wasn’t, I was just a talkative child and would just say things without thinking they would get people in trouble…  My mom would ask me how my day went and what I did, and I would tell her.  I didn’t think about leaving out things for the benefit of other people.  I remember one time when my mom asked me what I did that day and I told her I had a horrible day because I knew that this older girl Christie had stolen the stickers and money from the teachers desk, but was afraid to tell anyone because Christie would beat me up.  I didn’t expect my Mom to go and tell my teacher what I had told her.  It didn’t dawn on me until years later that she had done it, it took a conversation with Jen in high school reminiscing about our elementary school days to figure that out.  I thought the girl had confessed on her own or that someone else had tattled.  Jen’s mom was a teacher too, so we had similar experiences in that area.

Knowing my status on the totem pole makes this story a little more understandable.  My rant about society and climbing over people shines true here too.  Because Allen and I were both redheads…  the other kids in our class thought it would be funny to “joke” with us about being meant for each other.  I didn’t like Allen to begin with because, as I noted before, he wasn’t the nicest of kids.  It might have also been in retaliation for what the kids were saying as well, trying to prove to them that he didn’t like me.  One sunny day out on the “Big Playground”, a group of us were playing some game, which Allen was also playing, when Allen suddenly declared “I can’t go on!  My battery’s run down!” Which up finishing he pretended to fall to the ground exhausted.  Being that his last name was McCharge…  we all thought this was hysterical.  We started running around and yelling the same thing and falling to the ground.  He at first chased after us, but then he fell himself, this time accidently and started crying.  We all thought it was part of the show and we all threw ourselves down again and pretended to cry with him.  At some point during this episode, I realized that he was really crying.  In shame or because he had actually hurt himself, I’ll never know.  I wish I could say that I had the courage during this epiphany to stand up and put it all to an end, but I didn’t.  I stayed down on the ground and pretended that I was still having fun with the rest of the group, praying that it would end soon.  Thankfully the bell rang and I got up and ran to line up so we could go inside.  I don’t remember anything but that.  I don’t know if he was picked up by the teacher and taken to the nurses office or if he got up and ran for the line as well.  I do know that my Mom asked me about it that evening and I remember trying to brush it off as us all having fun…  I also remember that Allen didn’t come back to our class after that day.  Maybe he was moved to another classroom or maybe to another school.  In those days, your world view was pretty limited to the actual class you were in.  All I know is that Allen McCharge disappeared from my life and that I was left with this nagging feeling that I was part of the blame for that disappearance.

I often reach back to that moment in my life when I feel like some type of injustice is being done.  It helps me remember how shameful and guilty I felt for not speaking up.  I’m actually pretty passionate about it now.  I learned from that and a few other hiccups along my younger life to not care about the majority and their thoughts, but to look inside and go with what I felt was right and just.  It’s helped me brush off those times when I was being targeted.  In 7^th grade, my backpack and books were thrown into the dumpster several times.  After the first time, I knew where to find them, and so just fished them out myself without saying a word.  Eventually (the 4^th time), they got that it didn’t bother me and moved on.  I had relentlessly made a place for myself at the “B-list” table only to find that I was doing the same thing after “winning” a spot (told you, I had my lapses) in 6^th grade...  So I purposely started sitting with the “unpopular” kids.  Of course I lost my “spot” in a short time, but I felt better about myself.  In 8^th grade, I did the same thing when I “won” a spot at the “Popular table” for being a cheerleader.  By high school..  the crowds kinda died away.  Some people from Jasper might argue with me, but I think that we all kind of mingled together.  We still had specific “groups”-ish, but again, we all mingled.  I couldn’t say if I was in a particular one or not.  I don’t think I was popular or unpopular… I was just there.  I knew high school was just a stopping point before college when I could get out on my own… 

My point?  I was bullied, but I bullied too.  I think that everyone has been on both sides of the coin at one point.  For those who feel like victims, I want you to look deep down and ask yourself if you aren’t guilty of doing the same thing to someone else at some point in your past.  Be truthful with yourself.  It sucks.  BUT IT DOES GET BETTER.  Look to your past and grow from it... Don’t let it control your life now.  If you’re going through some bullying right now, know that there is light ahead, you just have to keep going.  Don’t let it jade you.  I now always try to treat other the way I like to be treated.  It has confused some, but I’ve gotten a lot more respect and friends out of it than I have enemies.  I owe some of that long learned philosophy to Allen McCharge.  Whereever you are, I hope that your life has turned out to be amazing.     

Revfest!

Wow!! Yet another great success! The artists were amazing, food was fantastic, music was really top notch! I’ll give you a quick breakdown of my day….


8am: Mom and I get to Rev and grab a bit to eat and a cup of coffee. Darrell is soon to follow with all of the equipment. We packed it all up last night in his truck soooo… we could sleep in a little more actually! Lol

9am: Truck is unloaded and Darrell and I are trying to figure out whose speakers we’re going o use for the main and whose we’re going to use for the monitors. We end up using mine for the monitors because they have more base, but then we had to figure out how THAT was going to work being that our speakers use different cables for the boards, not to mention that his have a built in amp and mine is separate. We ended up using both of our boards, which turned out to be pretty cool.

10am: Darrell goes on for his first full set by himself… and was amazing!! After he finished his set, we played Stumbling Blocks together and then I did a few songs of my own, which was a pretty fun way to start off the day. Christian Michael was on next for a long awaited return to the Atlanta area. He did not disappoint! The InTown Band was our first full band of the day. This trio blew away the audience with their laidback soulful music! Arise the Light was short a member due to a family emergency, so Scott Hall played a solo set with an array of original and cover anthems. At one point, I think he went through the complete 90’s playlist using just 3 chords… It was a lot of fun to sing along! Let Love Live, a duet from our local high school brought out a great crowd. The antics going back and forth between lead singer Loren and his brother off stage was enough to get anyone smiling. The new drummer was very impressive… I look forward to see these two out more often.

3pm: We had a slight nervous breakdown at 3… OK, so I had one… Due to a mix up in scheduling, Julie Gribble thought she was supposed to go on at 4pm instead of 3pm… so she was about 20 minutes late. No worries though, we had a quick break where Dave-O and Christian humored the crowd with beat boxing and improv comedy… OK, so we were pretty excited when Julie showed up… lol Especially when she started singing and playing. I LOVE her music! Brett came on at 4 and wowed the crowd with his different array of musical stylings. I especially loved it when he dedicated a song to Darrell and myself…. Quick story: Last Revfest, Darrell was supposed to come out and play with Brett. He ending up helping someone move a couch from his apartment building (random acts of kindness, love it) and was late to the set. He ended up catching the last part of it and… my eye! Brett actually introduced us after his set and we’ve been together ever since!

5pm: Slight heart attack. Wood Root doesn’t show up at all! (We still haven’t heard from them) Luckily, Darrell and Christian Michael volunteer to help me fill out the hour by playing a few songs each. Darrell actually played lead with both Christian and myself and Christian joined me on vocals.. So we actually had a an impromptu jam on stage. Insidious Interference (thankfully!!) showed up on time and ready to play at 6 for their first live performance together as a band. They really went well above and beyond all expectations! The First Stone, a seasoned band in the area, were up next and had the best transition stage wise we had all day. I really do have to take a moment to say that all the full bands that came out yesterday were fantastic. Very professional, very talented, and really stand up guys. The First Stone really blew me away too. I’m definitely a fan now!

8pm: Phillips Brothers takes the stage…. We probably had one of the best sets we’ve ever played!! It just flowed!! AND this is all from a summer of only 1 gig and very few practices due to health issues that have been rampant in our percussion section! J I love you guys!! We should be getting back into the studio very soon and there’s a possibility that we will be playing out again on the 6th over in Tucker.

9pm: I’m Chinese takes the stage for our last performance of the night…. They WOW-ed the crowd and actually brought in a few people who were just driving by. Just as an FYI: They are available for house parties et all!! They also have a new CD coming out in the next week that they are GIVING away!!*

10pm: Take down and clean up… done in record time! Darrell and I were home with our feet soaking in a bathtub by 11:30… having a nice glass of wine… going over everything that had happened…. Reliving some of the best moments and laughing over the more stressful ones. I want to thank all my family and friends who made it out and hung out with us throughout the day. My mom and sisters with their significants really brightened my day by being there!! Thompsons BBQ (off of Cobb Parkway across from Best Buy) is the most amazing BBQ place ever. They are just… YUM! You have to go and try them out. Thanks to DaVinci’s Pizza for holding it down for the after dark crowd. Nick and all the Rev staff… Thank you so much for hosting this event and putting so much time and effort into its success… it really does mean so much to the community. AND DARRELL!!! Who help out so much and basically ran the board all day Saturday while I was running around. I’m so thankful to have you in my life. I’m so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with you!

OK people, that’s it for my weekend… I’m off to the daily grind after a few days of the fantasy life that is music…

Peace, Love, and Music!

Kerry
kerry@kerrywentworth.com

*To receive the free I'm Chinese CD, just go to the I'm Chinese Website and sign up for their mailing list.